What if Jesus said "Give a banana to thy enemy"?

[Free Spirit, Chief of Quixotic Enterprises]

What if Jesus said "Give a banana to thy enemy"?

I don't think bananas existed in bible times.

They must have existed. I hear the banana is original from India,

"tropical Indomalaya" according to Wikipedia.
"And Australia".

You know the Christian argument the banana was made to fit the hand? It would make sense Adam & Eve would enjoy the fruit. "Look, Eve, what I've got in my hand!"

and we know Jesus trekked to India. ;)

We also know - or we should know - that India is big.
You probably could trek around for a long time without
finding a banana.

If Jesus was into Flower Power then he would give
a flower to his enemies.

You can put a flower in a gun barrel. Not so easy
with a sword. You could try gladioli... Dame Edna did.

Or --god forbid-- it could be a loaded banana...

Loading Image...


-----------------------------------------------------

"The jungle has never been this much fun!"

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nffbCR_uCZ6znjf3gLiFRXSAoLzhWtoZ6U4S7Y37aKc/edit?usp=sharing

[szzz]

Post by Free Spirit, Chief of Quixotic Enterprises

What if Jesus said "Give a banana to thy enemy"?

I don't think bananas existed in bible times.

They must have existed. I hear the banana is original from India,

"tropical Indomalaya" according to Wikipedia.
"And Australia".

You know the Christian argument the banana was made to fit the hand? It would make sense Adam & Eve would enjoy the fruit. "Look, Eve, what I've got in my hand!"

and we know Jesus trekked to India. ;)

We also know - or we should know - that India is big.
You probably could trek around for a long time without
finding a banana.

If Jesus was into Flower Power then he would give
a flower to his enemies.

You can put a flower in a gun barrel. Not so easy
with a sword. You could try gladioli... Dame Edna did.

Or --god forbid-- it could be a loaded banana...
http://www.officialpsds.com/images/thumbs/BANANA-GUN-psd63800.png
-----------------------------------------------------
"The jungle has never been this much fun!"
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nffbCR_uCZ6znjf3gLiFRXSAoLzhWtoZ6U4S7Y37aKc/edit?usp=sharing

Or you can give your enemy a banana to stick it up their arse....ha...

[High Miles]

Post by szzz

Post by Free Spirit, Chief of Quixotic Enterprises

What if Jesus said "Give a banana to thy enemy"?

I don't think bananas existed in bible times.

They must have existed. I hear the banana is original from India,

"tropical Indomalaya" according to Wikipedia.
"And Australia".

You know the Christian argument the banana was made to fit the hand? It would make sense Adam & Eve would enjoy the fruit. "Look, Eve, what I've got in my hand!"

and we know Jesus trekked to India. ;)

We also know - or we should know - that India is big.
You probably could trek around for a long time without
finding a banana.

If Jesus was into Flower Power then he would give
a flower to his enemies.

You can put a flower in a gun barrel. Not so easy
with a sword. You could try gladioli... Dame Edna did.

Or --god forbid-- it could be a loaded banana...
http://www.officialpsds.com/images/thumbs/BANANA-GUN-psd63800.png
-----------------------------------------------------
"The jungle has never been this much fun!"
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nffbCR_uCZ6znjf3gLiFRXSAoLzhWtoZ6U4S7Y37aKc/edit?usp=sharing

Or you can give your enemy a banana to stick it up their arse....ha...

Better not to get that close.
Shoot the bugger first chance you get.

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

Post by High Miles

Post by szzz

Post by Free Spirit, Chief of Quixotic Enterprises

What if Jesus said "Give a banana to thy enemy"?

I don't think bananas existed in bible times.

They must have existed. I hear the banana is original from India,

"tropical Indomalaya" according to Wikipedia.
"And Australia".

You know the Christian argument the banana was made to fit the hand? It would make sense Adam & Eve would enjoy the fruit. "Look, Eve, what I've got in my hand!"

and we know Jesus trekked to India. ;)

We also know - or we should know - that India is big.
You probably could trek around for a long time without
finding a banana.

If Jesus was into Flower Power then he would give
a flower to his enemies.

You can put a flower in a gun barrel. Not so easy
with a sword. You could try gladioli... Dame Edna did.

Or --god forbid-- it could be a loaded banana...
http://www.officialpsds.com/images/thumbs/BANANA-GUN-psd63800.png
-----------------------------------------------------
"The jungle has never been this much fun!"
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nffbCR_uCZ6znjf3gLiFRXSAoLzhWtoZ6U4S7Y37aKc/edit?usp=sharing

Or you can give your enemy a banana to stick it up their arse....ha...

Better not to get that close.
Shoot the bugger first chance you get.

Let's talk about survival in the jungle. Don't let the enemy know your weapons...

Post by High Miles
On Thu, 19 Feb 2015 03:56:25 -0800 (PST),

Post by szzz

Post by Free Spirit, Chief of Quixotic Enterprises
What if Jesus said "Give a banana to thy enemy"?

I don't think bananas existed in bible times.

Now, self-defence. Tonight I shall be carrying on from where
we got to last week when I was showing you how to defend
yourselves against anyone who attacks you with armed with a
piece of fresh fruit.
Right. Bananas. How to defend yourself against a man armed
with a banana. Now you, come at me with this banana.....

The trick is not let the enemy know it's a banana in your pocket. He may fear it's maze or worse that it's a gun.

Never let the enemy know what your weapons are. The Romans kicked Jesus' butt because he wasn't into self defense.

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

Post by szzz

Post by Free Spirit, Chief of Quixotic Enterprises

What if Jesus said "Give a banana to thy enemy"?

I don't think bananas existed in bible times.

They must have existed. I hear the banana is original from India,

"tropical Indomalaya" according to Wikipedia.
"And Australia".

You know the Christian argument the banana was made to fit the hand? It would make sense Adam & Eve would enjoy the fruit. "Look, Eve, what I've got in my hand!"

and we know Jesus trekked to India. ;)

We also know - or we should know - that India is big.
You probably could trek around for a long time without
finding a banana.

If Jesus was into Flower Power then he would give
a flower to his enemies.

You can put a flower in a gun barrel. Not so easy
with a sword. You could try gladioli... Dame Edna did.

Or --god forbid-- it could be a loaded banana...
http://www.officialpsds.com/images/thumbs/BANANA-GUN-psd63800.png
-----------------------------------------------------
"The jungle has never been this much fun!"
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nffbCR_uCZ6znjf3gLiFRXSAoLzhWtoZ6U4S7Y37aKc/edit?usp=sharing

Or you can give your enemy a banana to stick it up their arse....ha...

That's right. This is very similar to the Biblical metaphor of the lion --which was a vegetarian before the original sin... ;)

Well, he should be ready to eat banana, right? Substitute "lion" for your favorite predator, politicians, etc. In the case of Jesus, the lion would have been Rome. Funny the early Christians were fed to the lions. Once Constantine came to power... the Christians became the lion.

And what would you do if you face a Christian lion?

One day in Africa, a missionary was walking around Bible in hand. All of a sudden a lion, who happened to be hungry, decided that the missionary was a fine meal and charged at him. The missionary went on his knees and prayed, "Jesus, make this beast stop." The lion stops and goes, "Thank you, Jesus, for this wonderful dinner!"

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

On Fri, 20 Feb 2015 17:37:35 -0800 (PST), Wise

Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher

Post by szzz

Post by Free Spirit, Chief of Quixotic Enterprises

What if Jesus said "Give a banana to thy enemy"?

I don't think bananas existed in bible times.

They must have existed. I hear the banana is original from India,

"tropical Indomalaya" according to Wikipedia.
"And Australia".

You know the Christian argument the banana was made to fit the hand? It would make sense Adam & Eve would enjoy the fruit. "Look, Eve, what I've got in my hand!"

and we know Jesus trekked to India. ;)

We also know - or we should know - that India is big.
You probably could trek around for a long time without
finding a banana.

If Jesus was into Flower Power then he would give
a flower to his enemies.

You can put a flower in a gun barrel. Not so easy
with a sword. You could try gladioli... Dame Edna did.

Or --god forbid-- it could be a loaded banana...
http://www.officialpsds.com/images/thumbs/BANANA-GUN-psd63800.png
-----------------------------------------------------
"The jungle has never been this much fun!"
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nffbCR_uCZ6znjf3gLiFRXSAoLzhWtoZ6U4S7Y37aKc/edit?usp=sharing

Or you can give your enemy a banana to stick it up their arse....ha...

That's right. This is very similar to the Biblical metaphor of the lion --which was a vegetarian before the original sin... ;)
Well, he should be ready to eat banana, right? Substitute "lion" for your favorite predator, politicians, etc. In the case of Jesus, the lion would have been Rome. Funny the early Christians were fed to the lions. Once Constantine came to power... the Christians became the lion.

Interesting factoid: there is no actual historical evidence
that any Christians were ever fed to any lions. To be
killed by wild animals was a valid form of execution in
Rome, so it is fair to assume that a few Christians were
torn apart by dogs, bears or indeed lions. But it was never
a specific policy or punishment for Christians.

Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
And what would you do if you face a Christian lion?

Make like a lamb.
Go "baa baa".
Then discover to your great surprise that the relevant bible
verse is fatally ignorant of the dietary requirements of
lions...

Unless they produce a lion called Christian:

Loading Image...

But I think that lion was a hippie with that mane.

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

evolutionists sometimes shed croco-duck tears whenever you bring up the
banana as a good design. often such evolutionists will cut a short
clip
from a creationist film using the banana as an example.
the point is, the banana is a good design.

Again you are out to lunch. The bananas you eat are the end result of
human
selection, just like modern breeds of dog. Naturally occurring bananas
look

no it's not.

What's not?

they are cultivated intentionally, but the original banana was not created
by a human being, but was a happenstance. like the treasure in the trove
of junk, the banana appeared and humans took the underground >corns and

Yes, Darwin says as much in the Origin of Species.

"Cultivated bananas are parthenocarpic, i.e. the flesh of the fruit swells
and ripens without its seeds being fertilized and developing. Lacking
viable seeds, propagation typically involves farmers removing and
transplanting part of the underground stem (called a corm). Usually this
is done by carefully removing a sucker (a vertical shoot that develops
from the base of the banana pseudostem) with some roots intact. However,
small sympodial corms, representing not yet elongated suckers, are easier
to transplant and can be left out of the ground for up to two weeks; they
require minimal care and can be shipped in bulk."
in other words God created it, man cultivated it.

Huh? Where's the evidence for this god pixie you're so worried about?

pixies are those straws pre-filled with flavored koolaid. grape, strawberry and orange flavors. that you would call such a god is ridiculous. nobody takes you seriously.

Once Jesus proclaimed "Let the masses have bananas!" But this event was never recorded. Instead someone recorded that he cursed a fig tree. Why?

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

all these weird arguments are akin to saying that the Banana is bad design because if it were under a car wheel it would get smashed.
Bananas were built for a purpose that it serves very well.

Sorry, God gets low marks in the science of ergonomics. Otherwise he would have made EVERY fruit in the shape of the banana.

He gets the lowest marks with the coconut.

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

"the point is, the banana is a good design. there's no better example
of good food, on the go, than a banana. you can eat it without it
being messy, you can take it aboard a space craft without crumbs
flying about. you can hold it without touching the edible parts. it
fits snugly in your hand and the rubbery texture keeps it from
slipping. and it tastes good. "
It is a good design and humans are responsible for it as has been
pointed out.
I'm just making this up but I suspect some women would pick it over a
cucumber...

It must be said the plantain is a big exotic banana preferred by demanding women.