Why God gave us the Sexual Organs?

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

I mean, did he mean to give us pleasure or suffering? My dog is going absolutely crazy about the bitch next door and I can't make him happy, you know. He's a chihuahua who regularly weighs no more than 4 lbs and now it's absolutely consumed by desire. You may see his rib cage and his eyes are puffy in the center of some brown rings characteristic of obsession. I don't have to tell you that we are not that better than dogs when it comes to sex. We pay if we have to. We even risk going to prison if we are unlucky enough to bump into the sex police.

So God gave us this desire but we are unable to handle it. No masturbation, please. That's not my idea of fun.


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http://BANANAREVOLUTION.webspawner.com

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

You are an idiot. Your miserable little rat-dog has more sense than you.

God makes no more sense than my dog. And we humans are victims of his
stupid design. We just act like dogs with little understanding of what we
are doing.
Why? Maybe god and dog have the same instincts.

Your dog makes more sense than you, THAT'S the point here. Maybe YOU have
little to no understanding of what you are doing, but your rat-dog, Fido,
knows exactly what he's doing and why.
You can define yourself as a victim, although I'm not sure what you are a
victim of. Whatever you are victimized by, I am not a victim of the same
thing, therefore your characterization of "we humans..." is not accurate,
and my characterization of your dog has more sense than you is accurate.

Dogs don't realize it, of course, but we are victims of a god obsessed by sex. I bet you that monks --real ones, not me-- have nervous breakdowns over sex. And women are said to become "bitchy" when they don't get it.

Most importantly the sex police don't seem to understand that we need prostitutes to keep some sort of mental balance, even if it costs us.

Did god know how much sexual energy he put into us?

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

On Wed, 25 Dec 2013 09:09:37 -0800, Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble

Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
I mean, did he mean to give us pleasure or suffering? My dog is going
absolutely crazy about the bitch next door and I can't make him happy,
you know. He's a chihuahua who regularly weighs no more than 4 lbs and
now it's absolutely consumed by desire. You may see his rib cage and his
eyes are puffy in the center of some brown rings characteristic of
obsession. I don't have to tell you that we are not that better than
dogs when it comes to sex. We pay if we have to. We even risk going to
prison if we are unlucky enough to bump into the sex police.
So God gave us this desire but we are unable to handle it. No
masturbation, please. That's not my idea of fun.

If men were multi-orgasmic, we'd probably still be living in caves.

That's a very obscure reason for god to have made us this way.

If we acted on our instinct, we men could have 1000 children, but women only 20. Is that the way he controls population?

And he gave women pleasure way past menopause. It's very hard to read god's mind.

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

On Wed, 25 Dec 2013 23:44:30 -0800 (PST), "Wise TibetanMonkey, Most

Sex and orgasm is a way to trick us so we will continue to propagate
and fill the world. But orgasm is the most important ingredient.
Without orgasm, who wants to have sex and raise children like Yale
Guen Mar?
Only God can come up with a trick like this, sex and orgasm...;) He is
SMART!

How about this: Many women never experience it through sex and even more fake it. I think they are outsmarting god.

This is because many men cannot outperform their women...;) You can
test it yourself. Get a timer watch that can measure increments in
seconds when you have sex, not in minutes. And see how many seconds
you can last. Few men, very few men can outperform their women.
Women enjoy orgasm just as much as men, if not slightly more, if their
men can perform longer than just a few SECONDS. But, that is the
exception, not the norm. Most men "give up" after a few seconds, and
leave their women frustrated and dirty with semen. The men conditioned
their wives not to expect orgasm anytime they have sex. After a while,
the women lose interest and confidence in their men, and that's why
many women fake orgasm so they can get it over with and sleep.
I kid you not.
_____________
FISJONO

Few men can unleash the power of the big bang on women. It takes tantra and some position that is beyond procreation and the animalistic act. Believe me, it's possible. I will say it here and the only catch is that you give credit to the creator.

Women are not to blame for faking orgasm. Only god is to blame.

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

This is a brave statement: Every single orgasm reached by women is a rebellion against god.

Women who settle for single orgasms lack ambition.

Well, the more ambition the better, right? But even one "humble orgasm" is a rebellion against god.

[r***@gmail.com]

Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
I mean, did he mean to give us pleasure or suffering? My dog is going absolutely crazy about the bitch next door and I can't make him happy, you know. He's a chihuahua who regularly weighs no more than 4 lbs and now it's absolutely consumed by desire. You may see his rib cage and his eyes are puffy in the center of some brown rings characteristic of obsession. I don't have to tell you that we are not that better than dogs when it comes to sex. We pay if we have to. We even risk going to prison if we are unlucky enough to bump into the sex police.
So God gave us this desire but we are unable to handle it. No masturbation, please. That's not my idea of fun.

for a better understanding sex (sans god) read 'the selfish gene.'

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

Post by r***@gmail.com

Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
I mean, did he mean to give us pleasure or suffering? My dog is going absolutely crazy about the bitch next door and I can't make him happy, you know. He's a chihuahua who regularly weighs no more than 4 lbs and now it's absolutely consumed by desire. You may see his rib cage and his eyes are puffy in the center of some brown rings characteristic of obsession. I don't have to tell you that we are not that better than dogs when it comes to sex. We pay if we have to. We even risk going to prison if we are unlucky enough to bump into the sex police.
So God gave us this desire but we are unable to handle it. No masturbation, please. That's not my idea of fun.

for a better understanding sex (sans god) read 'the selfish gene.'

Put it on favorites. The problem is sex has become taboo while at the same time it has been commercialized, an instrument of power.

And it was supposed to be one of those rare pleasures that are free. Now you must drive a huge SUV to get it. ;)

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

On Sat, 28 Dec 2013 13:23:58 -0800 (PST), "Wise TibetanMonkey, Most

This is a brave statement: Every single orgasm reached by women is a
rebellion against god.

Women who settle for single orgasms lack ambition.

A lot of women would be grateful for even a single orgasm.
http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/features/cant-orgasm-heres-help-for-
women
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/ReproductiveHealth/sex-study-female-orgasm-
eludes-majority-women/story?id=8485289

"New research suggests that a simple measurement -- a "rule of thumb" -- might be the key to the pleasures of sexual intercourse.
About 75 percent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone -- that is without the extra help of sex toys, hands or tongue. And 10 to 15 percent never climax
under any circumstances."

Well, that may be true among some of the Gaylang population...ROTFL.
Perhaps they are already "immune", or more likely they are in severe
pain during sex. If your vagina is hurting during sex, really hurting
bad, called dyspareunia, can you have orgasm easily? LOL
Be careful where you go to have sex, because you may hurt yourself
really bad...mBwahahahaha..even if it is just a penis.

And that's where the skills of the monkey kick in. HINT: Those hands are "only" shared by monkeys and humans.
The tongue is another instrument another animals use. But we have more weapons in our arsenal.

________________________________
EX-ARMY GI

We may still want to blame god for hiding the pleasure button. What was he thinking of when he designed it?

Most men in the world may ignore where to find it and how to reach it. God could have issued a manual for women at least.

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

(THIS POSITION IS PARTICULARLY HANDY FOR SENIORS WHO ARE TIRED TO ACROBATICS)

OK, here's how to make a woman happy. This is the TibetanMonkey position:

Lie next to her and place your leg between hers, she being to your left. The body angle is about 45 degrees, your arms being able to reach all her strategic areas. Use your hands, monkey! And then penetrate her, keep using your arms. Play, play, play. Her arms are being used as well. She can masturbate herself while being penetrated! You can take some teasing too. Last as long as you can.

***

NOTE: I saw this position later in an education video. They called it a bland name, "side by side," which would inspire no one. Then TibetanMonkey position is right on. Remember those monkey hands put to work? The end result is a Tantric way to make love, less animalistic and more spiritual. Oh, don't forget to give thanks to the Banana Goddess for a good orgasm.

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

On Sat, 28 Dec 2013 23:13:13 -0800 (PST), "Wise TibetanMonkey, Most

Jeezus wants you to pour scalding water on
your sexual organs daily dontchaknow ... all
fun is evil, gawd wants pain ................

So you wish for Heaven. Funny thing is there's no Heaven.

Not unless we make one ...
Hmmmmm .............
Some kind of VR "heaven", assuming we ever
figure out how to suck all the contents out of
peoples brains and superimpose it on an
electronic 'world'.
But how do we know this isn't one of those
already ... one we managed to screw up ? :-)

Which one, Heaven is Sex or Heaven is no Sex?
People rush to the idea of Heaven and they have no clue of what is all about. This Heaven is Sex.

Hey, I just thought of this: Heaven is like life in prison, boring and no sex.
I wonder if many Christians wouldn't try to escape eventually from the paradise they imagine.

When I'm in front of god I'll ask him why he gave us two balls? Why two? I think we would still reproduce the species with one.

Of course, I won't forget to ask him why he hid the pleasure button in women.

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
Lie next to her and place your leg between hers, she being to your left. The body angle is about 45 degrees, your arms being able to reach all her strategic areas. Use your hands, monkey! And then penetrate her, keep using your arms. Play, play, play. Her arms are being used as well. She can masturbate herself while being penetrated! You can take some teasing too. Last as long as you can.
***
NOTE: I saw this position later in an education video. They called it a bland name, "side by side," which would inspire no one. Then TibetanMonkey position is right on. Remember those monkey hands put to work? The end result is a Tantric way to make love, less animalistic and more spiritual. Oh, don't forget to give thanks to the Banana Goddess for a good orgasm.

Well, I did some triangular calculations today and the right angle is 90 degrees, which happens to be the right angle. If you know math you know what I mean. So the distance between your eyes would be the hypotenuse. You are supposed to look into her eyes, according to the Tantric laws. This is something I often ignore as I make my own rules.

The Muses just inspired me that the TibetanMonkey position (TM) not only complies with the Pythagorean ideals of symmetry and beauty, but it's also sacred. Notice the bodies form a perfect cross at 90 degrees, which reminds us of Jesus.

Did Jesus ever use this position?

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

You are so absorbed on sex organs here that you have to know you sex organ
is not controlled like a cruise missile, do you know that?.

Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
Lie next to her and place your leg between hers, she being to your left. The body angle is about 45 degrees, your arms being able to reach all her strategic areas. Use your hands, monkey! And then penetrate her, keep using your arms. Play, play, play. Her arms are being used as well. She can masturbate herself while being penetrated! You can take some teasing too. Last as long as you can.
***
NOTE: I saw this position later in an education video. They called it a bland name, "side by side," which would inspire no one. Then TibetanMonkey position is right on. Remember those monkey hands put to work? The end result is a Tantric way to make love, less animalistic and more spiritual. Oh, don't forget to give thanks to the Banana Goddess for a good orgasm.

Well, I did some triangular calculations today and the right angle is 90 degrees, which happens to be the right angle. If you know math you know what I mean. So the distance between your eyes would be the hypotenuse. You are supposed to look into her eyes, according to the Tantric laws. This is something I often ignore as I make my own rules.

The Muses just inspired me that the TibetanMonkey position (TM) not only complies with the Pythagorean ideals of symmetry and beauty, but it's also sacred. Notice the bodies form a perfect cross at 90 degrees, which reminds us of Jesus.
Did Jesus ever use this position?

I guess this would be the Buddha position:

Loading Image...

I could never do the lotus position, but I guess it could be handy as a sexual position. The kama sutra lists lots of positions but most of them are impractical.

I haven't seen yet a better position than the TibetanMonkey position, but that's only my humble opinion.

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
I could never do the lotus position, but I guess it could be handy as a sexual position. The kama sutra lists lots of positions but most of them are impractical.
I haven't seen yet a better position than the TibetanMonkey position, but that's only my humble opinion.

OK, OK, that was kind of unhumble, not proper of a wise man. So this is my new statement which I posted on my website after cleaning up all direct sexual language.

OK, here's how to make a woman happy. This is the TibetanMonkey position:
Lie comfortably next to her with your legs locked with hers, she being to your left. The body angle is about 90 degrees --forming a cross-- your arms being able to reach all her strategic areas. Use your hands, monkey! Play, play, play. Her arms are being used as well. The end result is a Tantric way to make love, less animalistic and more spiritual. This is the most comfortable position in the world, so you can relax and please each other. Oh, don't forget to give thanks to the Banana Goddess for leaving the ordinary and mundane behind.
http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/43_love_tip.html

It is the most comfortable position in the world, no doubt about it. I do this because many people who get scared by the word revolution are not scared of sex. And I want people have a better life even if they live in crappy communities. We started walking in our community, away from the crappy part and we are having some fun, even enjoying a swimming pool at this three star hotel --a hotel for the monkeys, fun so to speak. Nothing compared to cycling, far and wide, but I have less conflict as pedestrian and thus I don't get to hate society. That means we have to drive to do many errands and that was the purpose of the revolution, to give people options. I'm living my own revolution: monkey out of the cage, socializing along the way.

Anyway, enjoy the TibetanMonkey position and thank the Banana Goddess.

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

Question yourself, your own beliefs. Try to see
things from the point of view of your opponents.
It can strengthen your hand, and at the very least
would keep you from looking like a twit.

I don't claim to believe. I just place myself in god's mind to see how much sense he makes.
In a perfect world god would not make us question his wisdom, but this is imperfect. He doesn't make sense.

Working inside god's mind is enlightening. He never uses any common sense. He never makes things simple. He creates one thing and then destroys it. Case in point is the dinosaurs. And he gave us the sexual organs to give us a lot of pleasure then denies it.

It sounds like any engineer with a superiority complex.

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

On Sat, 11 Jan 2014 01:18:21 -0800, Jeanne Douglas

No. If dogs and cats were natural enemies, they would *never* be
able to coexist peacefully in a household. And no, they don't have
to grow up together in order to get along. I would suggest that
your Chihuahuas are abnormally vicious little shits. But then,
that's redundant, they're Chihuahuas, after all.

Indeed.
They're so notorious that Cesar Millan did an entire episode just on
vicious Chihuahuas. And as with other small dogs, people think their
bad behavior is cute. Until it isn't anymore.

Part of that is, I think, vulnerability. When asked, I always advise
people with small children to get a big dog. A kid stepping on a
chihuahua hurts it, and the dog will respond. The same kid stepping
on a lab gets a bemused look from the lab.
And when it comes to protecting the kid from other kids, give me a lab
every time.

German Shepherd. When a Shep considers you to be part of his pack,
you're invincible.

What a dog is to a rational person, god is to a Christian. And there are as many types of dogs as there are sects. So having the right type of dog is most important.

Anyway the dogs finally connected yesterday. It seems as if god is trying to send a message through their eccentric sexual behavior. Why god wants them stuck in the sexual act? They look kind of silly there, but that's only a human perspective.

By the way, I swapped my chihuahua for a bigger dog which fits my adventurous lifestyle so much better. Is that why Christians keep changing sects constantly?

[Il Mio Nome]

Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
I mean, did he mean to give us pleasure or suffering?

'Sexual' refers to sexual reproduction. Do you understand?

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

Post by Il Mio Nome

Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
I mean, did he mean to give us pleasure or suffering?

'Sexual' refers to sexual reproduction. Do you understand?

I see, God gave us the sexual organs for some serious business, not to play with it.

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

On Tue, 28 Jan 2014 12:02:37 -0800 (PST), "Wise TibetanMonkey, Most

Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
I see, God gave us the sexual organs for some serious business, not to play with it.

It's called 'self dating', not playing.

Common, let's face it, guys. If we play with it it's because it's handy. God put it handy within reach and not much we can do. I bet we wouldn't be playing so much with it if, say, it was in the big toe. How often you scratch the big toe?