Why God hates the monkey?

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

Of all parables and animals in the Bible, not once has the monkey been mentioned. What's wrong with the monkey?

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The Bible menagerie is populated by talking snakes, lions, sheep, donkeys, and not once the clever monkey is mentioned.

Are they hiding something?


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"The jungle has never been this much fun!"

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nffbCR_uCZ6znjf3gLiFRXSAoLzhWtoZ6U4S7Y37aKc/edit?usp=sharing

[High Miles]

Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
Of all parables and animals in the Bible, not once has the monkey been mentioned. What's wrong with the monkey?
http://www.meh.ro/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/meh.ro8855.jpg
The Bible menagerie is populated by talking snakes, lions, sheep, donkeys, and not once the clever monkey is mentioned.
Are they hiding something?

Nah
The clowns who made up all those tales didn't know that monkeys existed.
So - no conspiracy.

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

Post by High Miles

Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
Of all parables and animals in the Bible, not once has the monkey been mentioned. What's wrong with the monkey?
http://www.meh.ro/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/meh.ro8855.jpg
The Bible menagerie is populated by talking snakes, lions, sheep, donkeys, and not once the clever monkey is mentioned.
Are they hiding something?

Nah
The clowns who made up all those tales didn't know that monkeys existed.
So - no conspiracy.

True, but the Christians don't talk much about the monkeys. They seem to avoid the monkey.

[High Miles]

Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher

Post by High Miles

Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
Of all parables and animals in the Bible, not once has the monkey been mentioned. What's wrong with the monkey?
http://www.meh.ro/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/meh.ro8855.jpg
The Bible menagerie is populated by talking snakes, lions, sheep, donkeys, and not once the clever monkey is mentioned.
Are they hiding something?

Nah
The clowns who made up all those tales didn't know that monkeys existed.
So - no conspiracy.

True, but the Christians don't talk much about the monkeys. They seem to avoid the monkey.

Too "close" for comfort ?

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

...monkeys were not indigenous to the middle east, which of course
lends even more credence to the fact that the Bible was a localized
fabrication. They wrote what they knew about. No mention whatsoever of
the platypus. If the Bible had actually been their god's word, genesis
would have read like a biology text book.

Paul said the Gospel had been preached to the whole world in his
lifetime, news to the forefathers of the Aztecs and Mayans.

Poor fellows. They were deluded that their world was the whole world. They equally thought that their "messiah" was here for the whole world. They never thought there were jungles and exotic lands. Imagine how surprised they would be to see a kangaroo.

But two animals are conspicuously absent from the Bible: the monkey and the dinosaur. They are the animals most popular with the kids. I wonder how a Christian family manages to avoid the monkeys when they go to the zoo. How could they avoid the kids asking questions?

Of course, all this is pure speculation but I never hear the Christians talking about the monkeys in good faith.

[High Miles]

Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher

...monkeys were not indigenous to the middle east, which of course
lends even more credence to the fact that the Bible was a localized
fabrication. They wrote what they knew about. No mention whatsoever of
the platypus. If the Bible had actually been their god's word, genesis
would have read like a biology text book.

Paul said the Gospel had been preached to the whole world in his
lifetime, news to the forefathers of the Aztecs and Mayans.

Poor fellows. They were deluded that their world was the whole world. They equally thought that their "messiah" was here for the whole world. They never thought there were jungles and exotic lands. Imagine how surprised they would be to see a kangaroo.
But two animals are conspicuously absent from the Bible: the monkey and the dinosaur. They are the animals most popular with the kids. I wonder how a Christian family manages to avoid the monkeys when they go to the zoo. How could they avoid the kids asking questions?
Of course, all this is pure speculation but I never hear the Christians talking about the monkeys in good faith.

True believers are not allowed to think or speak of stuff not sanctioned
in their book of fiction.