I expect Jesus to come with a flower in one hand

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

Well, in the Laundry books, the American organisation to defend the Earth, or at least the American government, against the scum of the multiverse is called "The Black Chamber", more informally referred to by Laundry agents as "The Nazgul"
It would have to be secret, wouldn't it?

I expect Jesus to come with a flower in one hand and a shotgun in the other.

He goes around asking people: "Do you believe in me?"

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"The jungle has never been this much fun!"

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nffbCR_uCZ6znjf3gLiFRXSAoLzhWtoZ6U4S7Y37aKc/edit?usp=sharing

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

Post by Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher
I expect Jesus to come with a flower in one hand and a shotgun in the other.
He goes around asking people: "Do you believe in me?"

Siddhartha Gautama held up a flower, presumably a lotus, and said nothing to his disciples.
Kasyapa also said nothing, but smiled at the Buddha.
The patriarchy was passed from the Buddha to Mahakasyapa in this way.
You might consider passing your wisdom on wordlessly...

I'm already smiling. ;)

The problem is Jesus never smiled. He was all suffering for humanity. A little Mona Lisa smile would help.

Buddha was wiser, that's why I became Wise TibetanMonkey.

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

Nah, Buddha, like the contemporary Cynics and Jesus believed poverty is freedom, but unlike that other two, Jesus thought it was ok to have fun. Buddha didn't believe in fun.

So Jesus wanted us to feel guilty for his death, and he wanted us to be happy? All the Christians do is cry over his death. Well, they also seem to be celebrating his death by displaying those crosses. There's much confusion. Is that the best Jesus could do?

Couldn't he give us a smile from the cross?

[Wise TibetanMonkey, Most Humble Philosopher]

Nah, Paul made that part up. He had to since he had to claim that Jesus had given him the real skinny. Jesus was done, in the flesh, in that group of timelines where Paul wins, like this one. But his ideas live on.

Jesus quite possibly gave us a wink from the cross, meaning it was all fixed.

It must have been very exciting to him as he would finish his sacrifice for humanity and join the gods in the good life. He realized humanity is not worth the sacrifice. Not even the Christians practice what he preached. Only his PR campaign was successful as he played victim and the poor relish the thought of getting back to the rich.